Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize