1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
