I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
