Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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