i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
