do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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