I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
