I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
