You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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