I got chris browned last night
Screwed.edu
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
