I hate your face
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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