So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
