I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
