if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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