i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There r osticjed everywhere
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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