We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
