Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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