The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
