Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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