i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
