So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize