Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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