one two three fourrrrnication!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
