If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
