I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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