maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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