i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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