You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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