Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
