He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
