Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
