just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
