and i looked up. we had an audience...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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