your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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