I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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