found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
