Umm I'm too high to move.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize