sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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