Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Floor bacon is actually really good
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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