I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
