His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We smell like vodka and hangover
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