her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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