a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
