i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
