She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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