Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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