...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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