I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i may or may not be watching the land before time
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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