whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
