She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
