You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
