im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
