idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
