Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
