i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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