Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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