I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
