I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
