i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
