I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
