He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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