Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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