How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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