hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
