I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
it's like heaven, but drunker
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
