Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
