When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize