Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
