i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize