I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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