ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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