how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A+ Viking dick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
